The Impact of Debt on Your Relationship
Problems with debt and marriage generally arise very soon in a relationship if one or the other partner is not honest with the other about their financial dealings or student loans. Another issue pertaining to debt and relationships include medical expenses incurred after the relationship has progressed for many years, and one or the other partner is dependent upon the other.
Several studies in the late 90’s and early 2000’s showed that money is one of the most frequent subjects argued about within the first 5 years of marriage. This is also the time that most divorces occur, with up to 20% of them citing money and debt as the number one problem. Disagreements over money are often a precursor to and reason cited for the divorce itself.
One of the most constant factors in these studies was that nearly two thirds of the couples surveyed who did not have any major debt or debt at all were happy and satisfied in their relationship.
There are a myriad of possible situations that could make this issue an unwelcome part of you or your loved one’s life. However, there are ways to fix these issues and improve your financial outlook as well as your relationship. Here we look at a few consequences and how you can balance your financial difficulties with your love life.
Not being honest with your potential partner can end up being the number one reason why relationships fail. Problems with debt and marriage will never have a chance to progress if one or the other finds out that they lied about the amount of student loans that they have, for example.
For instance, there was one woman who was sure she was only $100,000 in debt and was being honest to her fiancé about it. However, it was found that due to her only paying the minimum payment, her debt had risen to nearly $170,000. Her fiancé did not believe her and ended the relationship.
While this may seem like a very selfish and horrible way to end a relationship, it’s sad to say that a large percentage of young people view debt and relationships as something that should not mix.
Debt can affect things like how many kids you can have, how the children you do have will live when they are growing up, and where you will live. If one partner has expectations that debt will not be a problem and then finds out later that those expectations may never be realised due to monetary strain this could cause.
Strains On Your Mental Health
Regret is another factor that can lead to larger problems with debt and relationships. You may feel that you did not search enough for those scholarships, or that maybe you even made the entirely wrong choice of even accruing debt like this in the first place.
These kinds of feelings can lead to a lack of desire to talk to your partner about financial matters, anxiety, or even depression should you find you’re suffering needlessly.
This is one of the more common reasons that people finally decide to manage and eliminate their debt as fast as possible. They want to enjoy life without problems with debt and relationships looming.
Fear is a common issue cited in recent surveys that causes one or the other partner to not be able to enjoy their living situation, even when everything is going smoothly. Just purchasing a single meal can remind you of the fear you have of not being able to provide for your spouse, or to pay those basic bills. How can you take your family or spouse out to eat, or do anything other than sit around the house if every penny you spend puts you closer to the brink of going completely broke?
There are cases where debt from situations such as a death in the family, identity theft, an unforeseen medical bill or car repair bill can cause anger and resentment to build. If you allow the debt or situation to cause you to be angry all the time in situations where you otherwise wouldn’t have been, then it will most definitely cause a problem with your relationship.
It’s not all bad.
While there are many negative consequences to being in debt, having a supportive partner who does trust you with sensitive information can help you overcome your debt faster and easier. Many people have escaped debt with the enthusiastic help and support of their partner.
In some cases you may feel that your financial situation is no one’s business but your own. This is understandable. Trusting anyone with this information can be a big step.
Many people assume that they can handle everything without help. They won’t tell their partner about their financial situation because they don’t want to put undue stress on them. You may be sure that your partner would be completely understanding, yet you also understand that the added extra stress would not be beneficial for either of you.
Sometimes, to make ends meet, you have to make some sacrifices. Sticking to a budget can be one of the first steps you make towards overcoming your financial troubles. Other options include counselling, ensuring you have separate accounts at first (before committing to a joint account), and seeking professional support to organise a manageable set of repayments.
If you are in debt and need help managing that debt give us a call tel:1300 171 351. We don’t want you to have to go through any of this or deal with the associated problems. Escaping from debt IS possible, you just have to choose the right path. Avoiding problems in your relationship or fixing current ones can be managed without drastic measures. There is always a way out that will be beneficial for both you and your partner.